


Help me lose my mind

by hOlapota



Category: Bloodbound (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Lesbian Character, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-03-20 19:51:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18999358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hOlapota/pseuds/hOlapota
Summary: Kamilah always loved red. It was one of the most brilliant and bright colors in her mind. She would have never thought of it as her favorite color. She simply did not believe in such a simple and restricting things as picking just one shade of the world and casting it as pleasurable. But she did prefer to surround herself with it anyway.





	1. Epilogue

Kamilah always loved red.

It was one of the most brilliant and bright colors in her mind. She would have never thought of it as her favorite color. She simply did not believe in such a simple and restricting things as picking just one shade of the world and casting it as pleasurable. But she did prefer to surround herself with it anyway.

As she was younger and her mother was still alive, she would always remind her that ruby is her best friend. It enhanced her already perfect appearance, brought everything beautiful in her. Making her rich brown eyes so much lighter, glistening as jewelry at her neck. Long after her mother was dead, she would hate the sinful pride behind her mother words. Kamilah was so much more then her looks.

The Egyptian wore wine-colored gown for Lysimachus funeral. The act downright wicked, she knew she could be beheaded because of it. Kamilah didn’t care enough, her brother was dead and she needed to feel herself again. She could not and would not rebuild herself without broken parts of her past. It made her feel powerful enough to face the world again. The looks she received from people as she followed the carriers of her brothers corpse would always burn in her mind.

When Gaius turned her into the vampire after years and years of anger that made her see red. Made the women marry the ground with the blood of her enemies. Never bringing her any shred of peace. But there she was, still so angry but now with the power to destroy and build whole worlds as she pleased. His bright red eyes promising, open and with time, loving. She would let herself drown in them if it meant she would fill the emptiness.

So the years of destruction followed, they conquered and fought with great pleasure. Arm in arm, making the world theirs as she made him only hers. She was his bloody queen, as he was her king. He was so much that Kamilah would forget about the growing hole in her. There was always some fight to be fought or people to be killed. Her hands almost always crimson red and mind almost blank.

Then her king brought Adrian into their lives. He was like the fresh air, yet so familiar. Kamilah would huff and puff about his recklessness but still remind him to never drink too much blood. He was the spark that brought back her soul from the emptiness within herself. She wanted to have her hands clean again.

Then she killed Gaius. Well technically not killed but for all she knew, he was dead. She felt nothing. All this years on earth, all the love they shared and here she was feeling nothing at all. His blood on her hands never felt heavy.

And here she is, older then anyone here would even grasp. Older and far wiser than she could even herself comprehend. She was holding the body of the girl that she loved despite herself. Despite everything she knew and wanted. Young human broken and dead in her arms.

For once the red was scary.


	2. What will you become?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. I'm back.

_It took one look, for Kamilah to realize that this was not going to be an easy day. Just a few short steps out of her chambers, she saw her twin brother, making his way through the corridor. There would be nothing suspicious about his presence in this part of a palace, as they were expected to meet with their cousin. What bothered her though, was the fact that he’s wearing full Roman military armor, looking as smug as ever. Not any armor at that, it belonged to none other than Julius Caesar, as you could clearly see from the purple-red cloak hanging from his shoulder._

_With a weary sign, she speed up to catch up to his side._

_“My dear brother, care to explain?” she asked, looking him up and down with one brow raised. “Does your own life matter so little to you?”_

_Lysimachus laughed but said nothing, as he put his armored arm around her bare shoulders. The action sending a shiver down her spine._

_“I’m sorry but I don't quite understand, what do you mean?” He responded when she kept looking doubtful. They stoped just at the end of the dark corridor, just before the huge, decorative doors leading to throne Hall. Because of them being slightly open, they could peek inside._

_It was always hazardous to look straight at the throne, as it was mostly just gold, luminous in the sun that were peeking through the slits in the ceiling. She always thought, that with the damn golden chair at the center of the room, that would be enough of splendor. It was not. At least not for Cleopatra VII Philopator. It was her that insisted, despite the hours and hours of begging from Kamilah not to do it, that it had to had waterfall somewhere in the room. And so it had the waterfall, which was downright blasphemy in the Kamilah eyes._

_Even from the place where she was standing, she could hear how loud the water was. You could say, that there was no secrets in the great throne room, just because, you couldn’t hear anything through the loud noise, if you weren’t screaming. But as the years went by, she’ve grown accustomed to the luxurious whims of the queen of Egypt._

_“Your free spirit never ceases to amaze me, young one.” Said Kamilah, after a while. “You know, The Big Bad will behead you, as soon as he sees you in this.”_

_“I’m counting on his wife though” he snorted. “as you might know, I’m her absolutely favorite cousin”_

_Kamilah glanced towards said wife, who was sitting on the throne looking rather bored, as she listened to some kind of report from her advisor. The poor man stumbling with his worlds as she measured him with cold gaze. Whatever he was saying, it must have had something to do with agriculture. Cleopatra HATED those kinds of reports._

_“I don’t think she is in the mood for your jests” she said quietly, as she sobered up a little. “So could you humor your sister and elaborate on what are you trying to prove this time?”_

_“There is nothing to prove.” he whispered._

_“There is always something to prove for you”_

_“NOT always” He signed, watching with pitiful eyes as the advisor struggled. “Look Kamilah, she has to stop screwing with Rome, literally. She will be the death of us all.”_

_“And you stealing and walking around in her husbands armor will prove your point how exactly?” She said through gritted teeth. This wasn’t the first time they argued about this. The topic became sort of bone of contention between them. This type of petty arguments wouldn’t anger her no more, but he was getting more and more vocal about his hatred towards Rome. Which could potentially lead to the very death he was so afraid of. It was a matter of time before some spy or another could hear him and put a target on his back._

_“As I said, I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone. It’s just a harmful prank as you said.” He said a little bit louder than before, the fire in his exact same brown eyes as hers. The look startling her a little._

_Trying to stay calm she shifted her focus back to the throne room just in time to see the old man from before finishing his scribbles. She knew that meant only one thing. The shit show was about to start._

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

CURRENT DAY

 

She was getting really tired, of Adrian’s attempts to unite everyone in the council. There was so much he could try, before she loses her temper. Kamilah was far too old and experienced to believe in such a fantasies. There is no such a thing as uniting for the people who will chose power over anything. But she’d let him try, as she once would let her brother. Even if after each and every one of this tragic meet ups, she had to drink herself to slumber. She really hoped that one day he will learn that his idealistic world view can’t stand a chance. Not if he tries to force it upon people who will never see his side. But she wanted him safe, so she attended every meeting he proposed, and made any pleasantries required from her.

She was on her way to one of this so called gatherings. Already feeling bored, as she sped up through the jammed city. The ancient vampire never really liked driving in a car, it made her feel claustrophobic and limited in more ways than one.

The radio was playing some upbeat song, that she couldn’t bother remembering the name off, but enjoyed anyway. Once again, she was grateful for the tinted windows in her black Range Rover, as she banged her head to the beat. Egyptian could only imagine, what kind of headers she would wake up to next day, if any paparazzi caught her being entertained by something. Her social image being anything but warm.

Arriving to the modern skyscraper owned by her blood brother, she braced herself for a shit show to come. Knowing Caster, he would do anything to get a rise from her. Her cold exterior being the butt of a joke.

As she pulled to the private, underground garage were they let her right through. She checked herself in the front mirror. The persistent dreams she was having every night in the last few weeks apparent on her face. She was getting really grateful for this century need to cover up all the imperfections, as she knew that under all her make up, there were dark circles under her eyes.

With the final sign, she made her way to the Adrian’s office. She didn’t bother to acknowledge anyone in the crowded hall, as she made her way to the private elevator. Trying to find anything to get her through the meeting, she scrolled thorough her work mails. To her great displeasure, absolutely nothing caught her attention. 

Arriving to the right floor, Kamilah got positively shocked when she noticed a cup with still hot coffee sitting on the desk right outside the elevator. The desk supposed to belong to the assistant of the great CEO of the Reyes Corp. It come as a shock to her that anybody would occupy the desk already. She’d know that he wanted to hire a new one, but wasn’t aware that he already did find someone under such a short notice. The last one got tired of always working in the nights. That or the memory loss made her go insane.She couldn’t care less either way, as she never really liked the young girl.

She pushed the door and entered the spacious room without bothering to knock. Adrian’s office was really embodiment of who he was as a person. Always warm and inviting, with impressive collection of books, looking every bit as old she felt. She knew that he collected most of them throughout his travels with Gaius. After they put him in the coffin, he tried to burn them all, wanting to forget about his years as the monstrous puppet. Despite being jaded, she stopped him then, knowing that in time, he will regret it. She couldn’t protect his innocence, but she could try to fight for his gentleness.

“Always right on time” said Adrian, pulling her out of her thoughts. “Oh, cheer up Kamilah, I promise this one will be quick.”

“Those are never as quick as you promise” she growled.

“This one will be. Also come on, it’s just Lester. You should be really thankful for his presence here.”

“Oh Should I?” she asked with raised eyebrow.

“Well, yes. It could have been Baron, no?” He said, as he gathered some paper work from his desk and finally made his way to her to properly great her.

After a quick hug, she cracked a lopsided smile. “I suppose.”

“There she is. Now come on Kami, let’s torture you some more” He said offhandedly as he walked around her and gestured to leave room. “After you”

She followed him, rolling her eyes. “ I see that you hired some new assistant. Did you grow bored of her falling at every little thing that you asked her to do?”

“Now, now Kamilah. I know that you are irritated with me, but there is no need to throw tantrums at my employees.”

“Throw tantrums? For goddess sake, I’m like ten times older than you” she scoffed sending him a look of disapproval.

“Hear, hear. As a matter of fact, yes I did hire a new assistant. And this IS her first day so behave, will you?” He asked her, as they reached conference room where she could clearly hear the characteristic beat of a heart of a vampire who must be Lester.

Truth be told, he didn’t hate him that much. Hate is a strong feeling, and she just didn’t care that much. He was more of a necessary evil she has to deal with to maintain some kind of peace.

They entered the room and as she looked at his ugly, milky colored suit and pretentious hat, she reminded herself once again to be polite. For Adrian’s sake. There was no need for yet another war over Lester terrible taste.

“Oh my favorite council member, our mighty queen.” remarked scruffy man, making his way to greet her.

Fighting her every instinct to growl at him, she shook his sweaty palm once, and without anymore pleasantries made her way to the closest chair, as two of them watched her. She paid them no mind as she looked out of the window.

“Right, let’s get right to it shall we?” said Adrian frowning at her a little., gesturing to the older man to sit.“I wanted to discuss-”

His worlds cut short as they hear the knock on the door. With a shrug Adrian open a door to reveal small, human girl, holding two boxes in her hands.

“Excellent, Alex. Come in please..” He says in a quiet, smoothing voice as he lets her in. “This is Alex, my new assistant.

“You do go through them rather quickly” pointed Kamilah before she can stop herself. Remark earned her another hard look from her brother. She flashed him amused smirk and focused her attention back to the view out of the windows.

“Alex, this is Kamilah Sayeed. CEO of Ahmanet Financial.” after hearing the worlds from Adrian, the young girl reaches over to shake her hand, but Kamilah is in no mood to entertain, so she dismisses it with a curt nod.

“Kamilah is a brilliant AND fascinating woman, but warmth is not her forte” bites Adrian to which she simply rolls her eyes.

Probably getting bored with no one paying attention to him, Lester clears his throat. “I, on the other hand, would be more than happy to shake your hand, gorgeous...”

“...and this is Lester Castellanos, of Castellanos Meats.” introduces to his employee Adrian.

Kamillah looks just in time to see as Lester rises both of his hand to stroke the young human. “What a beautiful, beautiful girl.”

Then, after a bit of contemplation the girl slaps the older man across the face. Every single vampire in the room stops breathing for a moment. Kamilah feels herself getting more and more present with the sudden action in the room. For a first time she really looks at the girl. She’s really small, barely reaching Adrian shoulder. With her short, brown hair and pale completion she looks much more like a child than an adult. But she’s clearly fierce, if slapping much bigger and clearly more powerful man in the face is any indicator. The vampire queen thinks she could like the girl, if she least long enough to even meet her.

“Lester, please, come join us in the 21st century. This sort of conduct is so tiresome” she supplies as her resolve to be polite once more shaken. To her absolute delight, Castellanos melts under her hard gaze.

Adrian looks between two of them and signs “Alex, I apologize for Lester’s behavior, since he doesn’t have the manners to do it himself. Are you okay?”

The girls looks like she’s quite proud of herself as she nods to her boss and confirms that she’s good. “Back to business. To commemorate our partnership, I have chosen some small gifts for you. Alex can you do the honors?”

“Absolutely..” said the girl and walked to women vampire, before opening the first of the wooden boxes. The content immediately catches Kamilah’s attention. On the violet velvet rests the bejeweled scarab. It looks just as the one she used to wear in Egypt. Her mind fills with old memories. As the girl hands her the scarab, the Egyptian turns it over in her hands, admiring the amazing handwork.

“Ptolemaic Dynasty. Very nice Adrian.” The oldest vampire says, for the first time this evening putting a sincere smile.

“I thought you’d appreciate it.” he answers smiling back at her.

“The scarab is a symbol of rebirth, if I’m recalling my college class correctly?” said the girl, talking directly to Kamilah for the first time.

The remark causes the CEO of Ahmanet Financial to look at the girl once more. From this close their eyes met and something oddly familiar flowed between them. Something not quite there but still a ghost of the feeling. Kamilah gazed into those green eyes that seemed almost timeless, full of life and tempting. Her shock mirrored in younger girl face as they watched each other. If she believed in souls, she would call it the ultimate fate meeting. There was something strange about this human, she felt it in the corners of her mind.

The moment cut short when Lester loudly clears his throat, pulling them both back to reality. “Lovely. Poetic. But what do I get?”

His playful facade getting on everyone nerves once again as the girl stepped back from Kamilah to show him whatever she brought for him. As he bragged about his gift, the vampire queen took her time to compose herself. In her 2,000 years, she never experienced anything like that. The question was, what was that and who the hell is this girl. After a while, she looks around and see that Adrian already dismissed his assistant, and started the whole meeting. She focused back at the task at hand as they discussed the feral problem once more. After this strange meeting with the girl, the meeting went by rather quickly.

“Was it that bad?” asked Adrian when Lester stormed out of the room in his usual manner, right after the meeting ended.

“It was that bad and you know it.” Kamilah responded dryly.

They shared quick goodbye and she made her way back to her car. Alex never leaving her mind as she drove back.


	3. Forgotten Memories

_“_ **_Lysimachus is dead”_ **

_The words ringing loudly in her mind as she looked blankly at the servant that brought the news. The young man being concerned, scarred even. His thin body slightly shaking as his dark, unsure eyes focused on everything and anything but her. She wanted to pay him no mind, to act as cold and unaffected as always. Cast him out, with one cold glance and curt gesture. But she couldn’t bring herself to, Her brother was dead._

_Kamilah knew it, there was no denying it, no escape from this empty feeling. She’s been waiting for hours now for someone to confirm it. The connection between them both always been strong. So strong that she could feel the ghost of his feelings. The ghost of every fall and bump in the road he met as the years went by. She always been there to sooth his pains and celebrate the joys._

_She felt his excitement when he decided that he want to climb up his way through the thick walls of The Great Library of Alexandria when they were only nine years old. The feeling blooming in her heart long before Lysimachus decided to share his plans with her. She also felt his pain when he broke his leg as he felt down from said building. She was right there beside him when he’s been bedridden, annoying him to no end with jesters about his unsuccessful attempt. Kamilah never told him that she couldn’t sleep the whole time he was healing, because his pain made it impossible to._

_When their mother died, they huddled in Lysimachus bed, holding on to each other tightly, soothed with the presence of one another. Somehow it always made them feel better, simple touch helping them to push forward. So they always stayed close, making sure to never leave for too long. Even when he was up there in the front lines of the brutal war, he always made sure to let her know he’s okay._

_She stood there, even as his petty, pointless and most personal of his fights, the one with Rome itself, went by. It made him blind with rage. Made him loose his focus and put him in the dangerous position. She would plead and when that didn’t work, fight with him to stop it. To stop throwing his life away in some political skirmish. But she stood by his side, knowing probably better then he knew himself, that he just wanted to bring peace and vengeance for their family._

_But now the blind sword of vengeance brought dead to her brother and she couldn’t do damn thing about it. She was just empty._

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

CURRENT DAY

 

Kamilah was getting really tired of paper work. The sheer number of words she had to write on daily basis, just to make her company work was straight up insufferable. All this words with no meaning, making her want to punch something, or someone at that. She took great pride of what she accomplished with her company, being one of the biggest financial companies in the world yet there was still something missing. The thought scared her. She wouldn’t let herself feel this way since they took down Gaius. She was always a little bit too preoccupied with current affairs to let herself get lost in the dark memories. The vampire signed and stood up from her desk to look down from her towers’ windows.

_Some queen you are_ she thought as she glanced out of her office and saw that the sun will rise soon. She didn’t realize that it was getting so late. She never did, as she throw herself at work. She growled at the thought of yet another day of her sleeping at her own building, but what other choice did she had as the sun was already up, leaving her no time to get back to her estate.

She glanced further down, at the lively city, once more feeling jiggered with humans. New York never slept and it certainly never subsided. All this people wanting to make something of themselves, anything to make themselves seen. They run and rushed and never looked up to see. She wondered if Alex was the same.

The girl was slipping into her thoughts ever since their meeting. The connection between them never leaving Kamilah mind. It was so strange to experience something new, so unfamiliar after all this time. Maybe that was why she was so getting so restless. This warmth and familiarity she felt as soon as she met the young girls eyes never quite forgotten. The vampire couldn’t let it go as she was far too experienced to let it slip as nothing.

She tried to do some research about this kind of reactions, but found nothing. Well, nothing she could really believe in. She was one of the oldest living beings on the earth, she will not believe in such absurd things as soulmates. The internet supplying variations of informations about this phenomena and she absolutely hated all of them. She will not believe in some fairy tails the humans invented just to feel a little less lonely in their short life.

Her thoughts cut short as she heard her phone going off. Looking down at the screen she saw Adrian number so she picked it up.

„Adrian, this better-”

„She knows” snarled Adrian cutting her short. „Alex, she knows”

Her heart stopped for a moment, what would she possibly know that would make Adrian so angry.

„Knows what little brother, you have to be more specific” She said calmly, holding her stoic facade, as always.

„About us” he whispered, sounding defeated.

„And?” asked Kamilah, not really understanding what made him sound this emotional. His assistants always found out one way or another. That’s why she would never hire herself one, the action would be much more bothersome then she likes. „Make her forget.”

„That’s the point Kamilah, I tried.”

„What do you mean „tried”, Adrian cut the bullshit, what’s going on?” She asked him again.

„I have no idea Kamilah, I tried to erase her memories, and i can’t. There is something blocking me.” He said sounding more and more frantic with every world.

The revelation hitting her hard. The only thing that could mean is that she’s not really a human. And something really powerful at that. There was no other explanation. There was no way in hell that Adrian would do the erasing wrongly. After all he was once the right hand of Gaius, his will and sword. His abilities making him almost as good as Kamilah. She knows damn well that his power never faltered before, mending even non human creatures to his will. She will need a drink after this conversation.

„Where are you?” She asked sharply.

„We just left Priya's place”

„Are you out of your mind? Your assistant found out about you being a vampire and the very first place you take her is Priya?” She growled

„Well I couldn’t possibly predict this, could I?” He answered back.

„Take her to Jameson and do it NOW” she said, regaining her composure. „There has to be an explanation, she seems completely basic”

There was no response from Adrian for awhile, as he considered her words. She know that she was lying, there was nothing basic about the girl but he couldn’t possibly know about that.

„I will, I have to go.” He said after awhile.

„Handle it and meet me later.” Kamilah uttered impatiently as she ended the call.

The vampire queen flashed her fangs angrily, moving from her spot to fix herself something to drink. This is far from perfect. Who is this girl? She must be a human, the ancient vampire was sure of it. She’s never wrong. As she poured herself bright colored liquid and cursed herself mentally for not knowing better just few short minutes ago. She knew that once she wanted something to happen, the existence will grant her trouble. But why would her trouble have the face of a child?

**Author's Note:**

> I have finally decided what I really want with this story so here you go ppl.


End file.
